I should really clean up.  I keep losing stuff in my room.  Now my new watch is gone, and that is not very happy.  I'm angry at my room.

A little nervous because I just realized my symposium is in about two weeks and I haven't really been keeping up with the news.  It's absolutely essential the week before, but I should start paying attention now so I can find something intelligent to say.   Maybe.

It's hit a hundred degrees, and it's not done yet.  It's supposed to get to 103 before the day is done.  And yesterday I was out riding around in 90+ weather for several miles before I realized I was coming too close to passing out.  I mean, I'm always dehydrated, but it's not always that big of a problem.  Fortunately I have a bunch of first-aid training, which has come in very handy on many occasions, so I was alright.  I stopped at a convenience store and drank about a half liter of water outside.  As I was leaving some homless guy who had the most cans I have ever seen in one place strapped to the back of his bike started asking me about bike paths over the freeway.  Huh. 

I was just over there, though I can't think what he would have done with the cans on Evergreen Hwy.  I probably don't want to know.  I just went over there to say hey to some friends.  I caught Brian, but Jason was out, or at least not answering his door, and I was going to head over to Erica's house, and later Alicia's and some relatives(which is the opposite side of town, almost) but I started seeing those annoying black dots.  I hadn't realized how hot it was getting, or I might have saved my ambitious yet pointless project for another day.  Or I might have seen it as a challenge and done it anyway, only possibly with some water in my backpack.  You never can tell with me.

Cripes I know I had a lot more I wanted say.  I really need to start writing some of this bloody stuff down.

Oh, yeah, I remember one thing.  I was over at my aunt's house, and riding home I have to pass the cemetary where my Grandpa is buried.  I haven't been there since a few months after he died, and I for once didn't have any strict time constraints when I was over there, so I decided to have a visit.  I didn't remember exactly where he was, so I wandered around for about a half an hour before I found him.  As I was looking around, I recognized a lot of last names from people I know, and I wondered if there was a relation.  How many people stay in this town from generation to generation?  What makes them do so?  Fear of change or failure?  Family loyalty?  Or do they just like it?  All of those seem odd...  And I was thinking, aside from spouses, none of these people knew the guy buried next to them.  It's a little funny.  Is that what death is?  Finally not caring about whoever's next to you?  Letting them be?    In life, we're always trying to make sure we're friendly with our neighbors, bringing in people we already know when we can, in any situation you'd care to name.  It's tiring, sometimes.  Once I found Grandpa, I saw that ants were crawling all over his nameplate.  That sort of bothered me, I can't say why exactly now.  It just seemed disrespectful.  I tried to wipe them away, but I saw they had a tunnel or nest that came out right next to him.  Then I thought for a while.  They're not hurting him, they can't bother him anymore.  Maybe they can get some food from dirt and plant bits that get caught in the letters.  And then I thought, maybe THAT'S what death is.  Being a part of nature in a way that is unthinkable to living humans, actually participating in a passive way in the affairs of the earth. 

I know that's kind of a lot of thought on death.  Especially for a bright and sunny day.  I just like to think about stuff, and sometimes it's nice to share it.

I'm a sucker for a happy ending, though.  I realize this, despite my best artistic efforts to appreciate the usefulness of having everything end in misery and dissent.  It conveys a powerful message, and I understand that.  I'm glad not everything ends with sunshine and roses.  But I'm also glad that somethings do end in sunshine and roses.  That's sort of how life is, I'd like to think.  Some people get happy endings, others don't.  But happiness is out there.  The tricky part is tracking it down for yourself. 

There.  Musings about both life and death.  I didn't start out with the intenting of writing any of this, but here we are.   Now I've acheived some cosmic blog balance, and I think I'll go look up sappy song lyrics.